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About me

Ay, it's ya boi, Miles, also known as Miles Hacker, also known as Hacker, also known as Aaron, also known as Owen, also known as Johnny, and also known as the Orkyborkyman. I go by many names, but most simply call me Miles. I was born in Oakland, California in 2002, and moved to El Cerrito, California, when I was 9 months old. Here's a photo of me with camera shutters instead of eyes.

As you can tell, I like photography. But above all else, I love two things: geography, and cracking a cold one with the boys. More important is the former. I really love geography. If I know you, I apologize for my boring geography rants that I frequently engage in. I like foreign languages too, but I'm only fluent in English. I studied Spanish in elementary and middle school, but I'm very rusty now. I'm currently learning French in high school, and my French skill is coming together pretty nicely. I'm also learning Norwegian on the side, but at a much slower rate than French. I can only speak Norwegian on a basic level. The nice thing about Scandinavian languages is that if you know one, you know some of all of them. I haven't studied Swedish or Danish before, but I can understand some of each just from learning Norwegian. I chose to learn Norwegian because on the language-picking screen on Duolingo, the graphic for Norwegian had swords on it, which is pretty neat I would say. It's a great language though. Unlike Romance languages, conjugation is very straight forward. Norwegian also has a lot of vocabulary in common with English.

By the way, I'm a guy with long hair. I don't really know why I have it, but it's not too much trouble, and I can turn it into a beard.

I have a dog named Temmo. He's a good boy, except when he borks. I think he's racist because he always borks at white dogs.


I've also had four cats before, although I currently have none. Two of them died of natural causes, one we gave away, and one decided she liked the outdoors so much that she'd rather live on the streets. We still see her sometimes, but respect her life choices (we've tried to bring her home multiple times, she just hates being inside.) My love of geography has caused me to aqcuire an obscene amount of maps. My favorites are hanging on my walls. I also have some of my drawings hanging up, although my drawings are not numerous. I'm not a very creative illustrator, but I like copying images. I spend a lot of time looking at memes. Unfortunately, I have become fairly normified, since my primary sources are meme compilations on YouTube and Instagram. I also love shitposts, although they're not memes in the standard sense of the word. I'm okay at photoshop, and sometimes make my own memes. Here are a couple of my originals:


I don't update this often, so those have probably been dead for a long time as of the time of you reading this.

I'm an athlete by no means. The only time I've ever been in a school sport was when I joined the ultimate frisbee team for my first semester of 9th grade. Just like every other sport, I was rubbish, so I quit. However, I do love hiking. I hike 4-7 times per week, and often twice in a day. My location is ideal for this, as my neighborhood is essentially just a big hill. In fact, El Cerrito (my city) means The Little Hill in Spanish. I prefer hiking in civilization, as opposed to in nature. I know it's not the conventional form of hiking, but I simply find streets and houses more beautiful than most natural areas. Hiking helps to clean my soul. I do it whenever I hit rough times. The only problem with this hobby is that in California, it's too hot to go out most of the day in Summer and Autumn. For half of the year, I only hike at night. The only issue I've run into so far with hiking at night is that I got sprayed by a skunk once. However, this was not as bad as I expected. Turns out tomato juice is not necessary. I simply rubbed hydrogen peroxide on the areas that were hit, then showered, and my scent was essentially back to normal.

Another thing I love about hiking is that it gives me a chance to take photos, and to listen to music. Most of my photos on Instagram come from hikes or walks. And most of the time I'm listening to music, it's while walking. I could never pick a favorite artist, but as for genres, I mostly listen to alternative forms of rock and pop. I also like rap. I've always wanted to make my own music, but I understand that it's not at all simple, especially when you're not experienced with any instruments and a horrendous singer like me. I have a keyboard and know basic music theory, but that's about it. I'll probably never make music, but I'm cool with just listening to it.

Sometimes I am a bad boy, like when I chew my pretzels into the shape of sinful numbers.

I took a DNA test once, so I could see if I had any other races in me besides white. But when I got it back, it turned out I'm 100% white. I guess that makes sense, considering the hiking, frisbee, and frequency at which I say the word "yikes." My exact DNA test results were as follows: 43.3% Scandinavian, 24.4% Celtic, 20.8% Eastern Slav, 7.4% Italian, and 4.1% English. I wonder if my love of Scandinavian languages is related to my Scandinavian genes. I'm also pretty typical in my being a heterosexual male (males actually make up 52% of the world population, although it's only 49% in the U.S.) I thought I was bi in 9th grade, and went out with a guy for a few weeks. Then I realized I was straight. It didn't work out.

I like food a lot. My all-time favorite type of food is unquestionably pizza. Generally, I'm a huge cheese fan. I'll eat most stuff that has cheese on it. Fortunately, I do not have any natural dietary restrictions. However, I have chosen to become beef-free, due to the fact that raising cattle consumes behemothic amounts of water, plus cows emit a lot of methane, which is very harmful to the environment in the same way as CO2. If you want to become vegetarian / vegan for environmental reasons, but are on the fence about cutting meat out of your diet, I HIGHLY recommend going beef-free. You can do tremendous things for the environment and still eat all the chicken and pork you want. If you're like me, then after a while your taste buds will adjust and you'll genuinely enjoy chicken and pork far more than beef. Also, watch the film Cowspiracy (you can stream it on Netflix.)

That's all I will share here for now. If you read this whole thing, congratulations on wasting your time.